It may feel impossible to not be okay in the work world. You are expected to be a “rock star,” a “ninja”, and/or a “guru”. You may consider yourself one or more of those things in your best moments. In reality, you are smart, capable, and have unique talents—and don’t let anyone make you feel that you are not, especially yourself.
It’s okay to be just “okay” sometimes. How often do you perform at the highest level? What is your optimum level? Optimum may be different depending on the day.
Your productivity and positivity levels are bound to go down if you see every person who passes your desk as someone whom you must impress in every moment.
“Often we feel frustrated about feeling frustrated, compounding the feeling! It’s normal to feel this way… Acknowledge how you feel, and let that be enough. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes.” – Noom
Are you impressing your boss(es)? Are you two (or more) on the same page? Are you clear on your goals, and are you being communicative about achieving them? Those are the first steps—your true north.
If the answer to one or more of those questions is “No,” then ask yourself, “Whom can I turn to?” The key to caring for yourself, professionally or personally, is having a support network—even if that network is one other person.*
You must be yourself—even if you are a work in progress (hint: we all are!). And you must be honest. With the people in your network, you can honestly confess your fears, and you can be yourself, especially if that self is more black t-shirt and less tailored blazer (or a similar split).
You will not be perfect all the time. Give yourself the space to notice when you’re not feeling your best self, and then take action. Talk to someone. Assess the situation without judgment; be kind to yourself. Reassess the reality of your goals. If you’re a manager, it’s okay to delegate. If you don’t have direct reports, it’s (should be) okay to ask for help. You might be surprised.
If it is not okay to ask for help in your workplace, for your own best interest, you must think seriously about what to do next. Is a chat with your BFF or your therapist enough, or is it time to talk to a career counselor or a recruiter?
If you are not taking enough time to live for yourself, that dramatically decreases your capacity to make a living. Reach out to someone, or for some expert advice that will aid you in finding the best solution.** And take good care.
*Facebook Groups are still alive and thriving. Try finding one that seems welcoming. Or, try starting one yourself. One of my friends, who is an introvert and struggles with anxiety, started a group for positive space called “Ladies Lifting Ladies” which has grown to more than 400 members in less than a year.
**Here are some links to some materials I have found useful.
The Mighty, a digital health community created to empower and connect people facing health challenges and disabilities.
This Self-Career-Care Checklist Will Make Your Work Week Even More Fulfilling
Reach Out: The Simple Strategy You Need to Expand Your Network and Increase Your Influence, By Molly Beck, founder of all-in-one podcast platform Messy.fm.
My Life on the Road, by Gloria Steinem, journalist, and legendary feminist.
Think and Grow Rich: Revised and Updated for the 21st Century, by Napoleon Hill (Thank goodness this was revised. Readers of the original book must navigate some exceptionally out-of-date terms and language and imagine what it was like to find work in the post-Depression era.)
Do As Many Of These 30 Things As Possible To Make Your Life Better, AConsciousRethink.com
If you want to be more successful in life try being more proactive, by E.B. Johnson
We Need a “Rockstar,” by Liz Ryan (Hint: They don’t.)
–Written by Sandy Lashin-Curewitz
Sandy Lashin-Curewitz 